Maybe he should've worn a paper bag that day or something.
Juleka was coming home late that night, which was more of a relief than anything.
The second he was on his bed, his head was buried into his pillow. Maybe if he tried enough, the memories of his attempts to fight Wishmaker with Ladybug and Cat Noir would spill out of his head and disappear forever. But, that was how it was. Once you see something, you can’t unsee it, otherwise you’ll never be able to break out of the loop.
It might have been a bad idea to keep the truth from Marine-- Ladybug, but he could tell how much it meant to her to keep it secret. If she knew that he learned both of their identities, she would either pass out on the spot or be angry beyond belief. Either way, he knew he’d never want to do that to her.
It was better this way. It was for the better, it was, it had to be. Even if neither of them ever found out, he couldn’t possibly bring what never should have happened into importance.
Yet, whether or not he liked it, memories of the day combined with his new knowledge flitted through his thoughts. Without even realizing it, those two were made for each other, in more ways than one. He never could have a place with Marinette, not with all this resting on their shoulders. Whatever shock he was experiencing from what he learned, he could imagine that the burden of keeping it all secret was much worse. For the both of them-- knowing what he did now, there was more that made sense in context than he ever could have imagined.
Still…
He sighed and turned over, grabbing his phone off the corner of his bed. He stared at his contacts, stared at Marinette’s picture.
Then, he shut it off again.
It had been roughly a week since the fight when band practice rolled around, and just as Luka expected his luck to go, both Marinette and Adrien were there.
It was very rare that Adrien got to attend, but he somehow managed to get an extra half hour of fencing practice (or so he told his father, anyways), and from there, all he needed was a plan to sneak out and get home before he got caught.
He liked to spend time with Marinette, that was true. Adrien wasn’t much more than an acquaintance now, but he liked to talk with him too. Now, though? He wasn’t sure if he had the courage to face either of them, especially after lying to Ladybug like that. What if he slipped up somehow and one of them realized?
After several minutes of deliberating back and forth, he went with the best option he could think of: Fake a stomach ache and get the others to practice without him, and ask, well, more like beg Juleka and Rose to make sure no one came down to check on him.
He hoped that it wasn’t too much of a problem. It’s only happened to him twice so far, which was a better streak compared to others, but he didn’t want to risk fraying his nerves too badly in his thoughts around the two hidden heroes. If he got akumatized and spilled their secrets instantly, then he’d never be able to forgive himself.
It was difficult to ignore the growing pit in his stomach, regardless, but he had to try.
Unfortunately, the universe seemed eager to test him. He had begun to idly drum the strings of his guitar as a distraction when he heard footsteps-- his hopes that it was anyone but Marinette and Adrien were shattered with what he first heard.
“I know Rose said you didn’t want anyone to see you,” Marinette began, mug in hand as she carefully made her way down, “but you’re my friend, and, well, I couldn’t just ignore you. I thought maybe I could leave you something to drink, to see if that’ll-- Luka?”
He looked up, and in an instant, Marinette’s smile faltered. Whatever look he had on his face, he knew it was impossible to hide the restlessness that has plagued him since last night.
“Oh, thanks,” he replied, cringing internally at how lifeless his voice sounded. Maybe she’ll take that as a cue to leave, he hoped.
He wasn’t that fortunate, though.
“Are you alright?” She said, eyes full of concern for her friend. She placed the drink on the nearest counter, and made her way over to sit next to him.
“I’m fine,” he said, “Just that, uh, I feel better when I sit up over lying down.”
It was a terrible excuse, and the both of them knew it. Marinette frowned, gaze so worried and sincere it hurt to meet her eyes. “...You know, if there’s anything that you need to talk about, you can be honest with me. We’re friends, remember?”
No, I can’t , he thinks, but instead he smiles and says, “Of course. Thank you, but it’s really nothing. I promise.”
Marinette wasn’t reassured, of course she wasn’t, but she smiled in turn and stood up again. He pulled at the same string over and over, tapping his foot without even realizing it.
“Alright...um,” Marinette began, then stopped. She glanced at him one more time, then nodded and left, leaving the mug on the counter. Even when she was long gone, he didn’t go to grab it.
Instead, he remained there, strumming the same string over and over again. It was fine. Everything was fine. There was no way she managed to figure it out. After all, it’s not like-- she trusted him, she wouldn’t-- He wouldn’t lie .
Luka realized he had stopped breathing when he gasped, fingers falling still as they clung to the strings of his guitar. What if she realized? Marinette would never want to trust him again, much less be his friend. He treasured his friendship with her more than anything. If he lost her again, he had no idea what he’d do with himself.
Who is he kidding? He’s probably already lost her. It’s hard to lie to that girl, and he’s hardly in a state to convince her. It’s only a matter of time until she confronts him.
Only a matter of moments, a matter of truth, a matter of--
The only thing to snap him out of his fear was the sight of a familiar black butterfly squeezing in through the window.
That
terrified him more than anything.
He leapt out of his seat, backing up against the wall. The butterfly came closer.
Luka thought back to the last time this happened to him. He felt so hopeless when Marinette refused to be honest with him, and didn’t know how to come to terms with the fact that the person he loved would keep important secrets from him. He felt like he didn’t know what to do, lost, empty.
All he had to do was...not feel that way. Easier said than done.
Maybe she had found out, maybe she hadn’t. He doesn’t know what she’s thinking, so if he wants to get a feel for things, he can text her. He could even go out there now, and try to at least face the two of them before jumping to the worst possible conclusions. It’s just the stress of the revelation that’s getting to him. Nothing more, nothing less.
If he was perfectly honest with himself, he didn’t think that’d work-- but as soon as he started repeating those thoughts in his head, he felt the weight in his chest fade, and with that, the akuma that had been moments away from getting him turned around and made its way out the window again. Only then did he let out a sigh of relief.
If he wanted to keep that up, though, he had to honor his word. Taking a moment to brace himself, he headed up the stairs, waving to his friends who, luckily, looked like they were just talking now. The instant they saw him, though, they swarmed around him concerned looks all around. He met eyes with Marinette, and she averted her gaze.
“Do you feel better now?” Rose said. While costumes were on, everyone’s masks were set aside for now, leaving Luka at the mercy of Rose’s big eyed stare.
Before he could respond, Zoe spoke up. “C’mon, don’t crowd the guy!” She laughed, then added, “And don’t push yourself if you’re not feeling well. Sit here, you still look pretty pale to me.”
“It’s just some illness,” Luka said, though he accepted the offer to take a seat after a few moments. It didn’t seem like anyone wanted to practice now, which was a massive relief. All he had to do was sit there and nod occasionally, pretending that everything was alright.
Still, he couldn’t resist sparing occasional glances at Marinette. For a moment, he thought that Adrien had already left, but he was talking with Nino on the nearby sidewalk like nothing was wrong. Marinette, too, seemed as relaxed as always, and even smiled again when their eyes met.
Now, he couldn’t help but smile too, though he snapped back to normal quickly when the sound of screams echoed to the river from a few streets over. Although he was sure no one else noticed, he could see it in the two secret heroes, the way they froze, as if preparing themselves to run and jump into combat.
“Is it a supervillain?” Alya said. She reached for her pocket and pulled out her phone, then ran over to grab Marinette’s arm. “We should hide!...Separately! So we don’t all get attacked at once...Marinette and I will find a place around here!”
Without waiting to see if Marinette agreed, she dragged the girl off the boat and around the corner. Amidst the buzz of everyone going to find somewhere to hide on the boat, Luka glanced at Adrien again, who Nino was trying to tug back onto the boat.
Without thinking, Luka jumped to action, approaching the two. “What’s going on?”
“We gotta hide!” Nino said, shooting Adrien an annoyed look. “I know you said you need to find a bathroom first, but I think a piece of food in your teeth can wait!”
“I, but, y’know, what if the media gets a picture of me?” Adrien said, but his lame excuse didn’t slide with his friend.
“ C’mon , man!”
“No, I’m serious! Please, Nino…”
“Hey, guys?” Luka interrupted. “I can...take Adrien to a nearby bathroom at the park. Nino, find a place to hide. I promise I’ll look out for him, and if anything goes wrong, we’ll hide.”
Nino didn’t look convinced, but the sound of the screams getting closer, he didn’t have much of a choice. “Be careful,” he said, before letting go and following the others deeper into the boat. Although Adrien tried to speak, if only to give Luka an excuse to run off, Luka grabbed his hand and led him off the boat to execute the second part of his plan.
“Ow!” Luka cried out, suddenly grabbing his knee and ‘falling’ over. “I think I might have hurt my knee earlier. Can you go ahead without me? I swear, I’ll catch up to you soon, but I don’t want to hold you back now.”
Although Adrien furrowed his eyebrows in concern, he didn’t question it, nodding and running around the opposite corner. In seconds, Luka saw Cat Noir leaping into the distance from a different place.
“...Good luck, Ladybug, Cat Noir,” Luka murmured, picking himself up and running off in the same direction as the two heroes.
Even if it was difficult to pretend that nothing happened, it was even more difficult to lie every day of your life, wasn’t it? If they could keep it a secret for so long, then so could he. It was the least he could do for his friends-- and who knows, maybe he can lend a secret helping hand along the way.